Thursday, August 13

A Good Day

Well it had to happen, today was a good day.  I slept in, had lots of time to get ready for work since I worked the late shift.  Had a productive and enjoyable day at work, went grocery shopping on my lunch hour and then went to a movie after work because well why not.  Then I drove home late but content knowing the cats would want their supper but other than that all is good.  That's when it hit me, today felt normal,  no phantom ache, no feeling of something missing and then I crashed a little.  If I hadn't driven up to the garage of this house would i have even noticed or thought about Armin once?  Is that okay?  Am I ready for acceptance?  

I don't know,

I just know that slowly time is healing my wounds.  I know that their are now people in my life who don't know Armin and wouldn't know I was once married if I don't tell them.  I know that I listened as friends discussed dating and actually think hmmm maybe I should get some tips.  I know that I'm not ready to move on completely because it hurts when I realize I am moving on.  I know I irrationally think he'd be hurt that for one day I didn't think about him.  However, I will move on, there will be days when I don't think about him, slowly he will fade into a memory, I will date someday, I won't drive into this garage and that's okay he understands and it's what I have to do.  But not yet for now I'll cry a little and feel a little sad that I am moving on but it was a good day.  

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