Wednesday, May 25

Being sick sucks!

It's been a few days of spinning and I'm ready to get off this ride.  I'm better than I first was and trying to find some optimism but I'm getting tired of my apartment, ichiban, toast and oj...while smelling everyone else should be illegal to taunt sick neighbors with the fab smell of bbq.  My prof's have been very understanding but I have a final on Friday so no matter what I'll be there.  Then Monday is two midterms so I need to get better.  At least I can do my readings and try my best to stay on top of things.  I just want it to go away.  I'm doing some simple exercises and trying to get my balance back.

Monday, May 23


So quite a few years ago I had my first encounter with this and I hoped after so long they were wrong about reoccurrence.  However they were right....grrrr....I've now spent two horrible days trying to stay still and stare at the wall convincing my body that no we are not spinning.  Walking is torture even just to the washroom which is 10 steps away...10 very spinny steps even if I hang on to the wall.  All this spinning has my stomach convinced it needs to purge itself so I'm nauseous all the time.  I have to say this sucks and if it goes on much longer I don't know how I'm going to cope....I can't drive and can barely walk.  However today I am able to focus for short periods on the computer screen and sit upright as long as my head is supported so perhaps there's hope.
When I'm sick I want my Mom or Armin so's hard being sick knowing there isn't someone around that could come help you.
Yep I'm whining today but this sucks and I hate it.

Wednesday, May 18


Well life keeps going, faster than I'd like.  Sadly this means my little blog has been neglected and I've been feeling guilty about that.  I decided on a new title, I'm no longer just surviving I'm blooming where I've been planted but I know that this phase will be short and I'll be moving again.  Perhaps that's what I've learned the most over the last little while is that change is the only constant in life.  So then my life will always be a metamorphosis a process of adapting to the changes that happen.

I'm doing spring/summer classes which I'm really enjoying but they are incredibly fast paced but this suits me and my learning style even better.  I don't feel overwhelmed at all, I like going fast and longer class time allows me to really dig into the learning.  It's also nice to be using different parts of my brain.  I'm taking human biology, finite math, and religious studies.  The religious studies has been amazing since we started with hinduism.  I finally understand some of the things I saw in India in a way I didn't then.  It's been nice to reflect back on that experience and use it in my studies in a concrete way.

My feet feel itchy again...I want to be traveling but I'm committed to school for a while yet.  However, I am thinking I will take time off between my degree and my masters to travel.  With a B.Ed. I can teach abroad or in Northern Canada for a few years while experiencing someplace new.  I'm not committing to anything yet but I know more travel is in my future.  It's part of my commitment to doing things that make me happy and fulfilled instead of just wishing I wasn't single.

The biggest struggle I face is that I hate being single, I miss being part of a couple.  The little things like always having someone to come home to, talk to, do things with.  The problem is while I'm beginning to feel ready to date...there is a shortage of dateable guys in my life.  Education programs are pretty female dominated and bachelor programs are filled with guys that are just way too young.  I'm realizing that if they're single and close in age...there's a reason they're single.

I've been excited waiting for peanut to arrive but it's still quite a ways off.  Watching my sister and her husband has been so much fun, they are going to be great parents.  There is a little sadness that I am beginning to think this won't be an experience I'll get to have first hand but at least I can be the best aunt ever.

Well this post has rambled a little...if you stuck with all this thanks!  I'll try to post more frequently in the next little while.