Wednesday, August 18

Too many books blues

It's official I have too many books. Even with two new bookshelves there were still too many books and more boxes of them just keep turning up. So I spent today shifting and weeding, things I thought I wouldn't do after I left the library....I forgot about my own library. There were duplicates, there were books that were Armin's, there were some pretty ratty old romance novels, and hidden there were lots of old friends. I know people don't understand why I keep so many books but they are like friends, only better in some ways. They never let you down, they never dissapoint and they take you places you only imagined. So how can I let them go. I'm also a dedicated rereader if I like a book it'll be read at least once a year. Some of my favorites have been read 100s of times, I never seem to get tired of going back to them. My e-reader means my collection might not be growing too much more but it can't reproduce the awesome old book's one of my fave scents. It's actually a lot like a drug to me, that smell seems to calm me down, relax me and helps me feel at peace.

Unpacking is going really well slowly things are finding their homes. The living room, kitchen and bathroom are completely done. The bedroom is close I just need to finish putting clothes away and getting them hung up. Then I have permission to work on my craft room...yep I need to bribe myself to do the unpacking. After that I also need to work on hanging pictures on the walls...but that'll take a little longer because some of the stuff I need to put into frames.

I had a good cry today too, I found the hoodies of Armin's I'd kept for myself and they still smell slightly of him. I hugged them close and cried but felt peace. I'm sure I've made the right choice I know it's been hard for my friends and family to watch me move so far away but so far it's good. A lot of heaviness and day to day baggage was lifted when I moved. It's nice to be someplace that's just mine and nice to not be haunted by memories but instead be able to embrace them when I choose. I can better honor his memory this way instead of feeling tied down by it. This is a good thing a very good thing.

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