What??? It's October??

Suddenly it's October and I haven't posted since august. Peanut safely arrived august 20th and We welcomed him with a shower shortly after. On thanksgiving we celebrated his baptism and our thankfulness that he's such a wonderful new addition to our family. I'll post some of the shower crafts I made in another post but I had a lot of fun making little things to brighten it up.

School got off to a running start and like always it feels like we are sooo behind then it gets a month in and while I'm busy I'm realizing how much less important this stuff is than the prof thinks.

I'm looking into volunteer opportunities for next summer the front runner is a two week volunteer with the book bus and then go on safari for a couple weeks. As well theres some time snorkeling on the coast. Anyone wanna come with me?

Waiting....

Well classes finished last week already and I had hoped to be in Edmonton by now....however that is not what has happened but it's not really a bad thing as you'll see.

I went in to register my car here in Saskatchewan, thinking my registration expired in September this year.  I had the inspection report I'd been given in hand and was all ready to go.  However, they did the wrong inspection (free thankfully) but I had to get the right inspection done (costs money).  Bigger problem was that my registration expired a while ago (like April)....CRAP!! The kind lady gave me an 8 day temporary registration so I could legally take my car to the dealership and get my inspection and even phoned to make sure they knew which inspection I needed.  CAA membership is totally worth it at moments like this...they always have amazing staff that help with slightly stupid me problems.

So I go to the dealership, wait all day and they call to tell me I have to repair my bumper and front signal light before I can pass inspection (not unexpected).  So they order my parts in and tell me to bring the car back Tuesday and she'll be done by Wednesday at the latest.  I spend all day yesterday waiting for the early call (NOT) and almost all day today waiting before I called.  Apparently the high humidity is really messing with the paint drying times so my car won't be ready until tomorrow.  Then they'll sign off on the inspection and I can go back to CAA and get my registration done.  This means instead of getting to Edmonton Monday like I thought originally I won't get there until Friday at the best.

But this isn't all the waiting I've been doing.  Friday was the date of my 14 day revisit by Orkin...except no one called or showed up that day...I know because I waited most of the day for them.   Apparently I was supposed to tell my building manager to schedule it.  So I told her I needed the follow up treatment and inspection so she said she'd book it.  She then told me they should come yesterday (Tues.)...I waited all day....no Orkin.  She then said they said today...I settled in to wait and they were here by 10:30am.  So they have retreated things and inspected and I'm officially without house guests.  The waiting was worth it in this case to have peace of mind that my place is pest free.  Tomorrow I can bring all the items that were decontaminated (1 hour in a hot dryer)  and stored in garbage bags on my balcony back into the apartment.  I don't know if I'll get it all put away but at least they are out of the elements.  I plan on taking time to sort through stuff and get rid of clothes that I don't wear, old towels, mismatched socks and reorganize my clothing storage as I put this stuff away.

On top of all this I've been waiting to hear from my sister that it's GO TIME...but apparently peanut has other ideas or has decided to wait until I can be there (hehehe) since he shows no signs of budging.  This is driving my sister sightly batty but she is still before her official due date so he's not late yet.  I'm just glad he's healthy and it looks like I'll be around to be part of the welcome to the world party when he arrives.  I've been using my waiting time here to craft things up for the baby shower...I'd share photos but I want to surprise my sister with them so you'll have to wait until after the shower.  I will say I made my first ever diaper cake and it was easier than I thought and turned out looking soo good.  No it's not edible as the father to be thought it's a decorative cake made out of diapers :)

Waiting isn't the most fun and today was even more difficult because during and for 4-6 hours after the retreatment Tyb and I both had to be out of the apartment.  Thankfully my friend Kristine came and picked us up (no car you know) and brought us to her apartment where her two kittens greeted Tyb (the world's largest cat) quite nicely.  Thankfully our kitty friends were able to find quiet corners and not bug each other too much so we were able to settle in and be creative with paints and circles.  Her painting turned out beautifully!  Mine was ok but not as stunning but I was just pleased to be creative and with a friend.  Friday I broke up the waiting by some winners shopping with Kristine and then went to La Macaroon an amazing French patisserie here in Regina for dessert with Miranda that evening.  It was so nice to have guilt free time to just visit and not worry about the school work I should be doing.

I came home today to find the parcel I had been hoping would arrive before I left on my doorstep :) crammed with the most wonderful art supplies to play with while at my parents.  So maybe all this waiting hasn't been too bad.  I've gotten lots of relaxing done, watched mindless TV, got my apartment woes settled, visited with some friends, and prepped things for the baby shower.  Perhaps patience is a virtue and the reward is all the things that get done while you're waiting.  At least now when I leave on Friday it's knowing that everything here in Regina is taken care of, my car is legal and safe to drive again, and with some relaxing already done.  Which is good because I'm already booking up with chances to see friends and family while I'm home.  Saturday is a BBQ with friends in Camrose, Sunday I'm going to see Wicked with a friend (sooo excited), then it's fringing and visiting for the rest of my time.  Also more waiting as we wait for peanut to arrive and finally get to welcome him with cuddles and hugs into the Ginther and Pelech families.  I've packed my camera so hopefully he's not camera shy so I'll have some pics of the little guy to share when he does arrive!

Good things come to those who wait!

Summer vacation ahead!

Well the chaos of last week has settled into the quiet of this week.  Monday is the last day of class, Wednesday the final and then I'm done and free for a whole month.  I'm going to spend that month in Edmonton with my family and visiting with friends there.   To avoid boredom (like that'll happen) I'm volunteering at the edmonton kids fringe and throwing a baby shower for my sister.  Nothing like a few projects to make time fly before the next round of classes.  I'm a little nervous about the practicum part of the next semesters but I'm choosing to be positive about it.

I heard the rumour this week that the university is discontinuing the early childhood education program.  If this is true that means there won't be a single university in Canada offering a bachelors degree with a specific early childhood label.  Sometimes it seems that I get to things at the right time.  Jeremiah says, "All things work for good for those who believe." and I think that although I couldn't believe that at the time Armin died that this is true.  Not that I'm glad Armin died I just think God works even bad things into opportunities for good. We just have to pull our heads out of our misery to be able to see it and that sometimes takes distance.  I know I'm here at the right time though and for the right purpose.

I had the pleasure of going with a friend to look at wedding dresses, her wedding is still a ways off so this was more of an I'm so excited and oooh pretty dresses trip than an actual shopping but it still was a lot of fun.  She got to try on a bunch of gorgeous dresses and no matter what she put on they looked good.  It'll be a tough decision then but she's got time to figure out what she wants.

On the bedbug front things are looking way up.  I have seen 2 in the living room, (I quickly killed them) but that's all.  I've had no bites since the treatment and the follow up treatment is in a week so I'm feeling really positive that soon this will all be behind me.  Most of my stuff is spending time in garbage bags on the balcony until after the second treatment so I don't have to rewash it all.  So I'm making do with a limited wardrobe and only one pillow and a sheet on the bed.   The cat has started laying on soft furniture again and sleeping on the bed so that makes me happy.  I also took the opportunity to tweak the furniture arrangements because they all had to move so I could vacuum underneath everything.  I'm choosing to think of this as early fall cleaning.  So I'm taking the opportunity to get things in order and cleaned.

BedBugs

Well for a few months I've suspected that something wasn't right in my suite.  I had way more "hives" than normal and then I saw a few weird bugs around the place on a few separate occasions.  So being a librarian at heart I took to the internet to research what bug this was....turns out it was my worst nightmare....BEDBUGS had moved in with me.  So I searched for traces but couldn't find anything....hmmm...weird I thought maybe it wasn't anything...cuz who wants to admit to bedbugs.  However, the bites continued and I saw them a few more times....okay war was declared.  I told my landlord they came in looked saw nothing and said I was mistaken. So I kept watch and put some dust down that said it killed bedbugs, ants etc.  however this seemed to encourage them because I saw them more....which needless to say was starting to freak me out.  So I went back to the landlord and said I was going to call an exterminator so finally they agreed to have the exterminator come in to check.  Today he came and today I was vindicated yes I have bedbugs.  The dust apparently doesn't kill them it just drives them out and forces them to spread....so in doing the wrong thing I kind of did the right thing.  So Thursday to my equal stress and delight they are coming to spray and KILL the little bastards.

The stress is that Thursday is my midterm for this 3 week course I'm taking and I have this list of things I'm supposed to do to prep for the exterminator.  As well everything needs to by washed that's touched the floor or bed.  Since laundry is expensive in my building and there are only 8 machines for 20 floors of suites I'm packing everything into garbage bags and taking it to my parents to use their machines.  I asked the Orkin guy and he said the chance of me infesting their place is low if I keep the things outside until they go into the machine to be washed.  As well I and my cat have to stay out of my suite for 24 hours after treatment.  Normally I'm anti chemicals but in this case I just want the suckers DEAD.

Thankfully bedbugs are like lice fairly easy to kill and don't carry any germs but there is social stigma around having them.  I thought about not sharing this information but I think people need to know that bedbugs are very active in Canada right now and many people have them who didn't do anything wrong.  However they are quite easy to treat but the most important thing is to call a reputable exterminator ASAP.  So please don't judge me harshly or avoid me and my home after it's treated.  I'd hate to feel like I have the plague just because I got a few evil roommates.

Apparently they could have already been in my suite just dormant until it got warm (for once my liking my place cold is a benefit) or I picked some up at the University (which is apparently a hotbed for bedbugs) especially since I have brought in textiles and display items several time.  It's rarer to get them the second way but I did have stuff that was left at the Uni for a few days at a time.  I suspect they were here when I moved in because at the beginning I did have an allergy attack(hives) that I thought might be something in my new suite.  However, it cleared up once fall got cooler (they go dormant in cold).

New Venture

Well I'm taking the leap into personal business by setting up a website and advertising my services as an instructor, as an added bonus it gives me a place to sell my art.  The name is Thirzadune ART Farm a tribute to the farm I grew up on and the family I grew up in.  Thirzadune is the name of the farm I grew up on and it means gentle rolling hills an apt description of the farm.  The website is www.thirzadune.com and it links to this blog as well.  I'm excited about the opportunities this may bring my way but recognize it's going to take some work to get this off the ground.

I am back into classes and it's another super fast 3 week course so I've hit the ground running.  Today I swept through the library in search of books for the research paper and the supplementary texts.  The subject this time is Indigenous Studies 100 and it looks to be interesting but there's a lot of reading and information to wrap my mind around in a very short time period.  I'm glad that I had a good week off in Edmonton to refresh myself because I'll be spending a lot of time in the library for the next few weeks.

Race to the finish

Well this crazy short semester is done and the marks seem to support my feelings that while this is stressful I thrive on the pressure.  I am glad to be done and have a short break before I begin another 4 week course.   So what am I doing with my break?  Right now I'm getting up from a nap LOL late night studying plus early morning exams left me tired so I took a nice nap and now I'm forming my plans for the week or so I have off.  On Friday I'll be packing myself and a grumpy cat into the car for the road trip to Edmonton.  I promised to help get the nursery ready for peanut and I'm excited to help and it'll be a lot of fun. Allison's been told to stop working and stay at home resting so I know she's getting a little bored so I'm glad that I can come help her get ready for the upcoming arrival of this special person.  While it was a little scary to hear that she'd started having some labour pains everything is good but she does need to take it easy.  I'm so glad that her and peanut are fine because they are both very special to me.

 I'm also packing up art supplies so I hope to spend some time crafting with my mom and anyone else that might want to mess around with me.  So far I don't have plans for Canada Day but I'm sure something will come up.  I'm also bugging my wonderful youngest sister who's a physio for a backrub which I need after lugging books around for these courses.  She's been sounding a little down so we're both looking forward to some bonding time and we also have a baby shower to plan!!

I want to visit with my Grandma too while I'm home because it brings her such happiness to hear about my studies and I treasure the time I get to spend with her.  She's in such good health but I don't take that for granted I know so many people my age who don't have their grandparents anymore so I'm going to treasure any time I get to spend with her.  She's so amazing and I love hearing about her life and learning from her accumulated wisdom.

I guess my week off sounds pretty busy but it's sooo nice to be home in Edmonton and able to visit with friends and family.  I'm a little frustrated at how expensive gas is because I've been trying to cut my spending because this last year of school was a little more expensive than I figured but it's always worth the cost to go home.  I think after the summer I'll need to get a part time job just for my own peace of mind.  I have my savings but I'd rather not go through it all just to pay for school even if education is a good investment.  To settle my mind I think I'll make an appointment to see my investment banker while I'm in Edmonton.  Once again I say if you're in Edmonton you need to see this guy and I'm happy to give you his information.  It's free to meet with him and find out how you're doing financially.  The most important thing I learned after Armin's death was how important financial planning is and that it's never to early and you never have too little to chat with a professional to make sure things are all in order.

While I love Regina it's interesting that Edmonton is still home for me.  That should put people who are worried about me wandering far away at ease because while I may wander I'll always come home!

Summertime Beginning

Today I was able to cruise with the top down somehow this simple act made a week that wasn't so great much better.  I think the stress of the semester just really got to me add in I'm still recovering from the bad cold I had and it was an emotional meltdown.  I got through all my schoolwork this week and now I'm taking tonight off before beginning next week's assignments and preparation for my finals.  I've loved the classes this semester and the pace is good but it does take a toll.  I haven't blogged much because I just haven't had much to say.  I mean I have lots of random thoughts but nothing of real significance.  I also haven't had any time to spend on my art so that's been neglected.  I am working on a paper that really interests me.  While in Egypt I was blessed to be able to chat with a few muslim women and learn more about their beliefs and their choices.  Now I'm writing a paper for my religious studies class about wearing the hijab and learning a lot about Islam.  I'd like to go back and revisit these conversations now with the knowledge I have.  This has been the benefit of this course I've been learning so much about what I saw but it sure resparks my wanderlust.

Being sick sucks!

It's been a few days of spinning and I'm ready to get off this ride.  I'm better than I first was and trying to find some optimism but I'm getting tired of my apartment, ichiban, toast and oj...while smelling everyone else bbqing...it should be illegal to taunt sick neighbors with the fab smell of bbq.  My prof's have been very understanding but I have a final on Friday so no matter what I'll be there.  Then Monday is two midterms so I need to get better.  At least I can do my readings and try my best to stay on top of things.  I just want it to go away.  I'm doing some simple exercises and trying to get my balance back.

Labrynthitis

So quite a few years ago I had my first encounter with this and I hoped after so long they were wrong about reoccurrence.  However they were right....grrrr....I've now spent two horrible days trying to stay still and stare at the wall convincing my body that no we are not spinning.  Walking is torture even just to the washroom which is 10 steps away...10 very spinny steps even if I hang on to the wall.  All this spinning has my stomach convinced it needs to purge itself so I'm nauseous all the time.  I have to say this sucks and if it goes on much longer I don't know how I'm going to cope....I can't drive and can barely walk.  However today I am able to focus for short periods on the computer screen and sit upright as long as my head is supported so perhaps there's hope.
When I'm sick I want my Mom or Armin so badly...it's hard being sick knowing there isn't someone around that could come help you.
Yep I'm whining today but this sucks and I hate it.

Changes

Well life keeps going, faster than I'd like.  Sadly this means my little blog has been neglected and I've been feeling guilty about that.  I decided on a new title, I'm no longer just surviving I'm blooming where I've been planted but I know that this phase will be short and I'll be moving again.  Perhaps that's what I've learned the most over the last little while is that change is the only constant in life.  So then my life will always be a metamorphosis a process of adapting to the changes that happen.

I'm doing spring/summer classes which I'm really enjoying but they are incredibly fast paced but this suits me and my learning style even better.  I don't feel overwhelmed at all, I like going fast and longer class time allows me to really dig into the learning.  It's also nice to be using different parts of my brain.  I'm taking human biology, finite math, and religious studies.  The religious studies has been amazing since we started with hinduism.  I finally understand some of the things I saw in India in a way I didn't then.  It's been nice to reflect back on that experience and use it in my studies in a concrete way.

My feet feel itchy again...I want to be traveling but I'm committed to school for a while yet.  However, I am thinking I will take time off between my degree and my masters to travel.  With a B.Ed. I can teach abroad or in Northern Canada for a few years while experiencing someplace new.  I'm not committing to anything yet but I know more travel is in my future.  It's part of my commitment to doing things that make me happy and fulfilled instead of just wishing I wasn't single.

The biggest struggle I face is that I hate being single, I miss being part of a couple.  The little things like always having someone to come home to, talk to, do things with.  The problem is while I'm beginning to feel ready to date...there is a shortage of dateable guys in my life.  Education programs are pretty female dominated and bachelor programs are filled with guys that are just way too young.  I'm realizing that if they're single and close in age...there's a reason they're single.

I've been excited waiting for peanut to arrive but it's still quite a ways off.  Watching my sister and her husband has been so much fun, they are going to be great parents.  There is a little sadness that I am beginning to think this won't be an experience I'll get to have first hand but at least I can be the best aunt ever.

Well this post has rambled a little...if you stuck with all this thanks!  I'll try to post more frequently in the next little while.

Count on Me

I was thinking the other day how far I've come in two years but I can't take all the credit for my journey.  I couldn't have made it without my family and friends.  Then while driving home for easter I was listening to this song and just knew it had to be dedicated to all you wonderful people.  Even when I was at my craziest or saddest there was someone there for me and I will be eternally grateful for that and for not giving up on me.  I may still need a hand but I feel so much stronger and I want to remind you that I'm here for all of you. This also heralds a new name for the blog...don't worry the address will stay the same  and I'm open to suggestions so leave them in the comment field.
most especially.... THANK YOU

Long time no write

Okay I have no excuse for my long absence but it's also a good sign.  I'm getting out and connecting more with people in person, I'm living again and not hiding behind my keyboard.  The semester is done, just a few finals to write that I'm not feeling very stressed about.  On the academic front the big news is that I'll be speaking at my first professional conference.  I'll be presenting my paper on multilingualism at the Sask TESL/ TEAL Sask conference.  This is exciting for me and it's great for my future career path.

My family went for a family vacation on a cruise to the Caribbean.  Everyone went including my Grandma and it was really awesome.  We did the western caribbean so we saw: Grand Cayman Island, Honduras, and Mexico.  It was a 7 day cruise and I had a great blend of busy and relaxing time.  Our whole family went ashore in Grand Cayman and went to the beach together.  In Honduras I went to a cove and swam with the dolphins a lifelong dream of mine.  In Mexico I visited the Xcaret Park which was a mix of zoo, historical park, beach, and horticultural centre.  I really enjoyed the mix of experiences.  On ship I took in all the spa had to offer, swam in the pools, read my book, watched some shows and drank lots of yummy drinks.  Everyone had a great time, got some sun and just relaxed as a family.  It was perfect because you could do what you wanted all day and then we'd all get back together for supper.  The timing was a little hectic because I came back and had to finish 3 final projects in 3 days but I got it done so that's all that matters.

An important date passed while we were away, the 2 year anniversary of Armin's death.  It doesn't feel like it's been two years it feels like 2 millennium have passed since he died.  I'm a lot stronger emotionally than I was but some days I still reach to his side of the bed looking for him.   Last night was one of those nights,  I've been pretty sick this last weekend with a stomach bug and all I wanted was to be held by someone.  It's those little things I miss, the comfort of a touch, his smile, and the having someone next to you at night.  Most days I get by because I don't think about it much, it's like a dream that lingers at the edge of your consciousness.  Other days I close my eyes and try to escape back into that dream but like all dreams there's no way back.  Don't get me wrong I don't hate my life but I do miss the life I had.  Last night I cried and today I laughed and I guess that's what life is and what it ends up meaning.

Once my exam is over tomorrow I think it's time for some craft therapy.

Reading week

Well so far no reading has occurred on this reading week but that's not really unusual.  I don't think I've ever read on reading week.  It's so nice to be in Edmonton and so far I've had a lot of nice visits with friends and family.  It's great to catch up with people but it's been quite a few late nights and busy days.  This trend will just continue for the rest of the week...I'll need another week to just recover from this :D  but that's the sign of a great vacation.

I'm so grateful to have so many wonderful people in my life.  Friends and family are truly treasure beyond worth.  

Craftiness Again

Well I've done a lot of talking about me and my life but I have managed to do some crafting...not much but I'm hopeful to change this.  I've got a few girls interested in crafting and we're trying to get together on Friday's to craft.  This helps get my creative juices flowing and I find during the week I'm spending more time working on my art journal.  

This is a simple puppet set I made for a swap I'm in.  It's the 3 little pigs and the big bad wolf (ok he's not so bad).  This is one of my favorite fun little puppet ideas and cheap I just go to the dollar store and get utensils.  

I found this cool origami paper so I started folding and playing and made this cute little bouquet.  It did need a little glue to make it solid enough that if Tyb pushes it over it stays together.  

This is just an altered board book I've been playing with.  I think it still needs something but I was thinking it would be a great housewarming or wedding gift so it might not get finished until I go to a wedding or something.  

There we go a little eye candy to make your early February better! 

Suddenly it's midterms and cellphones!

After weeks of quiet and just readings to do.  Suddenly it's midterm season.  Papers are due and tests are next week.  That's okay I'll survive but suddenly the pressure is on and higher this semester.  I made the dean's list last semester, something I'm quite proud of myself for doing.  However, now I want to do it again which means maintaining an 85% average.  I raised my bar and now I'm not sure I can keep clearing it.  We'll just have to see how it goes.

On the weight loss front I'm doing really well, as of today I've lost 15lbs and it's been relatively painless.  I've been helped by my goal to eat more local organic food.  The only downside is that local organic food is expensive. So I've been balancing this with just eating more veggies and less meat.  Come summer it'll be easier when the farmer's markets are full of produce but in winter in Canada local and organic is hard to find.  Eating healthier is a lot easier when you live by yourself, you only have to please yourself and there's no one sabotaging you by eating yummy junk.

The shopping is not going quite as well.  I have made improvements but I still have been buying things and I have a hard time packing my lunch for Tuesday and Thursday's.  That's okay there is still time to keep working on it.  I have been doing better about resisting impulse buys and online shopping.  I only shopped once this month and I took my Michael's gift certificate with me.  Of course I went over a little and then we went to Michael's where I did buy a new pair of dress pants and a sweater.  I could've lived without them and probably didn't need them so it wasn't the smartest decision but they will get used with me doing a lot of fieldwork this semester.

On that note fieldwork is awesome.  It eats up a lot of my time but I love being with the kids.  I spend Wednesday mornings in a grade 3/4 classroom of 29 kids of which 18 are EAL so while I'm supposed to be observing I'm actually getting a lot of hands on time.  In the afternoon I go to a french school and assist the English teacher with EAL (english as an acquired language) students, they are generally in grade 6/7 and I do one on one tutoring with them. I also spent an afternoon at a local prekindergarten which was really great and my favorite experience so far.  Then starting soon I will be volunteering at the RCMP Heritage Centre here, I think I'll be doing class tours but there will probably be other things to do as well.  Due to being in the field so much my coursework seems to be lighter with most of the courses having one midterm, a final or final paper and a reflection piece based on the fieldwork.

I'm looking forward to reading week and I'm planning on heading to Edmonton so that should be good and since I have some extra time this visit I hope I can see some people. I called my Grandma today just to chat and it turns out my Dad was there visiting with her.  So I got to talk to both of them, which was good.  I will also have to spend some time with Grandma when I'm home since I won't be able to be back for her birthday the next weekend.  In order to make this trip better than my last which involved my car getting stuck like 3 times, a trip into the ditch because of black ice and a tow once again from CAA I've got the car going in for a check up and new tires.

I'm also going to get a cellphone .... yep I'm giving into the technology.  I'll probably only carry it when traveling to Edmonton for two reasons: if I get stuck and so I can get in touch with my friends even while I'm out and about town.  The big debate is what cellphone to get so I'm asking for input.  Should I spend the cash for the iphone or do I get something else.  If I got an iphone I probably would carry it with me and use it but mostly as a ipod which I already have so it would be redundant.  If I go with another option then what do people like.
Leave me your feedback and I'd be grateful.

Is this a dream I see before me?

Sometimes it feels like I dreamt my life with Armin, somedays it feels like it almost never happened and then there are days like today when my soul aches missing it's other half. I got amazing news over christmas, I'm going to be an aunt for the first time. Last night I got my first picture of my future niece or nephew hereafter named peanut. It was love at first blurry weird ultrasound picture. I'm so happy for my sister and her husband they are going to be amazing parents to peanut. It just reminded me of what I lost, the path not taken. I'm tired of empty arms, quiet nights and cold regrets. A lot of the time it doesn't hurt like it does today. I don't want people to pity me or think I hate my life. I don't. I genuinely excited to be an aunt. I just miss having someone to share these moments with. I miss having someone that just knows you and is there. I miss curling up on the couch to watch a movie with someone. Crawling into bed after a long day just knowing someone is there. The bed still feels empty, I'm sleeping much better...I guess because empty has become normal but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability

This was for one of my classes but what she says is one of the most insightful and important things I've heard in a long time. Check it out, it is worth your time.

How's it going?

I'm well into January and working on my resolutions. I've been doing really well at the eating healthy, exercise and lose weight part. As of today I'm down 6lbs and I've made it to the gym 3 out of the 4 days I'd planned to go and the 4th day was missed so I could work with my group on a group project. I've also found that talking about it means I've found people to go to the gym with, support in making good food choices and just generally that a lot of people are trying to do the same thing.

However, I suck at the don't spend money. I didn't realize how much of shopaholic I've become. It hasn't been a total disaster I've just not been as good as I'd hoped I would be. I just really need to stay out of stores and focus on what's important. What I bought isn't too bad since I mostly used my christmas money but I didn't need what I got and I did go over. I also bought some items to fix some problems around the apartment what it wasn't necessary and I could have lived without it.

On this note I'm really struggling because my family is going on a cruise and there are 2 formal nights when we'll be dressing up...I so want to purchase a new dress for these nights and I've even found one I love but I know that I don't need a new dress I have many in my closet that don't get enough wear. I also know that clothing and shoes are particular weaknesses of mine that I was very firm about not induldging this year. I already broke this rule because in order to go to the gym I needed some gym appropriate pants...I went through my whole wardrobe and only had jeans, dress pants and skirts. However because I really didn't have anything I allowed an exception...but it was a carefully considered exception. The problem is that now I feel like the door has been opened to buy clothes...it's tough to close that door...

My motto is that today is always a fresh day so I'm forgiving myself for the mistakes I've made and realizing this is a journey and sometimes learning as you go is more important than perfection. So when I have a bad day and something doesn't work, I eat the junk food or I spend when I shouldn't I just reflect on what happened and start the next day with that knowledge and a plan to avoid that mistake.

Resolved

Tis the season of resolutions and new beginnings so I'm working on mine. I'm in the process of overhauling my lifestyle this year. I'm working on my shopping issues and trying to eliminate non-essential spending. This has been a rocky start and I've had a few slip ups but I'm working on it. I'm also going to be walking with a friend for an hour a day in between our classes which is a great fitness goal for me. I've also decided to go back on Weight Watchers and get myself into better shape. So I've got a bunch of stuff that I'm tackling all at once. I think that's going to make it more difficult but I want to keep bettering myself. Last year was about achieving emotional balance and health, this year will be about physical and financial goals. Even if I slip up or have set backs I've learned that you grow a lot through the process and reaching for big goals means you have to stretch but it's a good stretch.