It seems every time I get my feet back under me and start feeling like I have control, God needs to remind me that he's in control. Last night being a case in point. I was home proud of myself for getting stuff done enjoying an online chat and movie with K. Then the doorbell rings and it's my neighbor M looking at me with pain filled eyes. Are all your kitties home? she asks and then I knew...no not all the kitties were home Cordelia my lovely little Delia had slipped out earlier when I took the garbage out to enjoy the cool fall evening. Sadly for a reason I'll never understand she went near the busy the road and was struck by a car. M helped me put Delia in a box and today I'll take her to the SPCA for cremation. Today the house feels a little emptier, Tyb her brother is wandering around looking for her, today I'm reminded that it hurts to love. K called me after this happened and I remarked I was tempted to not love anymore because it hurts but he reminded me that not loving would hurt more. It is worth the risk because for the time you have the person, animal, thing you love your life is better, richer and fuller. Sadly because sin entered the world bad things happen people and animals die untimely deaths but that doesn't mean we stop caring or loving.
This was timely advice...since K is a new interest in my life and I've been getting a lot of warnings about how I could get hurt. People I've already been hurt but I'd rather get hurt knowing love than not love at all. Is it too soon to be thinking about a new relationship...I don't know....I didn't go looking for this it just happened but if anything I've learned that our time is short so we should seize the moment and explore the possiblities. K and I have been spending a lot of time chatting, web camera chatting, phone chatting...and I'm taking the leap I'm going to visit him in Nova Scotia. Is there a chance I'll get hurt...possibly....but I'm willing to try.
For my birthday my parents took me to the Mayfield dinner theater for their Nashville Hits show....a big sacrifice on my country music disliking parents part. I truly appreciate them sitting through a whole show of country music for me. The one actor sang the song "The Dance" and it's been sticking with me ever since...
Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance
